Chaos Reigns In Our Shadow Selves. The More We Know And Integrate our shadow, The More Personal Power we gain. The power to choose responses in all parts of our life.
The answer to this question is as unique and varied as the practitioners of BDSM, and like most things in life, “it depends!” Here are a few Slut Training Techniques I enjoy. Can you think of any more?
Like many aspects of BDSM, the power exchange is at the heart of slut training. Throughout this article, you will hear the term “forced” used regularly. To avoid redundancy, let’s establish here that consent is at the heart of all D/s engagement. Any acts described as “forced” are predetermined to be acts in which the submissive desires to engage in, or is willing to experiment with play of that kind, and a designated method of communicating discomfort is established between both parties.
The overarching theme of slut training is sexual instruction. The Dominant party takes the role of authority, encouraging, scolding, and praising as determined by the submissive’s performance. The following are examples of skills that may be explored.
The submissive will receive instruction from their Dominatrix regarding how to pleasure anyone at any time. At the command of their Dominant, a submissive is expected to be willing to serve with enthusiasm. A Dominant might instruct their submissive to do so on their knees, in a revealing position, or to masturbate while doing so.
Instruction can include:
Part of slut training often involves being penetrated, and training a submissive to both fuck and be fucked is usually (but not always) an activity included in the instruction.
Instruction can include:
Beyond the sex act itself, techniques for enhancing a sexual experience for the receiver.
BDSM slut training sessions also employ a variety of control techniques. Let’s explore them.
Sluts are often expected to be highly aroused during play but also in complete control of their orgasms.
As discussed previously, the Dominatrix assumes power and authority, controlling the slut’s experience entirely
Forced Bi- Many people find their way to Slut Training through an interest in other common kink play. For example, a submissive interested in exploring bisexuality may enjoy fantasies of being “forced” to engage in sexual contact with a same-sex partner under the watchful eye of their Dominatrix. The permission and encouragement to explore this turn-on creates a headspace that adds to and deepens the experience in an accepting and encouraging environment.
Group Love-Another common factor that brings people to Slut Training is a desire to explore group experiences and/or exhibitionism. The idea of being brought to a setting where others are engaging in sexual activity and being “shared” at the instruction of the Dominatrix is a potent fantasy for both men and women!
Cuckholding/Hot Wifing/Husbanding-Are areas of play that also overlap with Slut Training. Couples who enjoy both exhibitionist and voyeur play can create preparatory scenarios in which one partner “prepares” the other for the sexual experience, ensuring they are fully trained to give and receive pleasure for the other partner’s enjoyment.
Sissification, Cross Dressing- These are also elements of Slut Training that can be both erotic and stimulating for both submissive and Dominant. Going beyond embracing femininity and gender expression, Slut Training involving performance or presentation as the opposite sex under the instruction of the Dominatrix allows the submissive to explore parts of themselves in a safe and accepting setting with a trusted guide.
A Professional Dominatrix takes the experience of Slut Training to a new level. Where it can be casual play otherwise, a professional takes the experience to a new level. A Dominatrix is an artist of desire, a weaver of fantasy, control and pleasure, creating a space for yearnings to come to fruition under her firm hand.
My article entitled The Many Archetypes of a Dominatrix, discusses suppressed desires and their relationship to our shadow selves. Play such as Slut Training in the hands of a professional involves exactly that; the interaction with guilt and shame allows us to confront and recognize the parts of us that usually go unnoticed and integrate them into our daily lives.
Advanced players may wish to expand their experience with multiple Dominatrixes within their scene, allowing for a different sexually charged experience, including spit roasting, and anal training; the sky is the limit with a creative Domme anyway; imagine the possibilities with two!
Everyone wants acceptance, acceptance of the parts we share with the world and, perhaps more importantly, the parts of us that are vulnerable and fearful of judgment. We all have elements of ourselves that do not fit into our accepted societal norms, which can be the roots of guilt and shame.
These elements hold us back from being our most authentic selves and living our most actualized lives. Slut Training encourages and celebrates embracing the parts of ourselves that puritanical and conservative elements of culture have taught us are wrong, yet we still yearn to express them. Part of why this sort of play is so popular is because of that inherent yearning and desire.
Concepts of sexual identity are some of the most challenging parts of ourselves to explore without self-judgment or fear. Guided by a professional Dominatrix, the safe space provided within the dynamic allows the curious to play in their shadows, and accept them in the light.
You arrive full of excitement and anticipation; Goddess Viktoria has informed you that today will be a special training day, a day you have yet to experience. You are powerfully aroused, wondering what your Mistress has in mind.
You enter her space as protocol dictates, removing all your clothes until you are naked and vulnerable, folding them neatly next to the door. Goddess is seated and waiting, and you cast your eyes down, assuming the position she requires.
“Well, my little whore, I hope you’re looking forward to what I have in store for you today. You’ve been very enthusiastic in your efforts to please Me, and I think you might be ready for the next step.”
You feel your body begin to tingle, and you catch your breath.
“Yes, Goddess.”
“I’ve decided that you’re going to become not just My good little submissive but My good little slut as well.” She continues, “This means a different sort of training than what you have experienced so far. To be a good little whore for Goddess, you’ll have to learn to take cock in all of your holes. I’m going to make your holes so juicy and so desirable that you will be the envy of every Dominant.”
“You will learn to crave being used and love it when it happens, beg to be treated like the little slut I know you yearn to become for Me through Goddess’ personal brand of whore training, nothing but the best little whores are able to complete the program, but I know you’re motivated to be the best.”
“You’ll also learn to remain aroused and ready at all times but without cumming. You will learn how to present yourself for use, and most of all, you will enjoy knowing Goddess has selected others to use you as she likes for her amusement. By the end, I know you will beg for more.”
Your heart races, and you feel suddenly hot all over, imagining yourself in front of other people, perhaps, so vulnerable, so objectified. Just a slut to be used, forced to pleasure others for their entertainment. What will it be like? What will you have to do? What is coming next?”
But you do not ask these things, you already know the only answer there is. You want to please your dominant.
Yes Goddess, anything you wish.”
Her low laugh tells you everything you need to know, you are her plaything, about to be molded further into a toy for her amusement.
Now that I’ve got those slutty thoughts racing through your mind, let’s learn about Slut Training with Pro Dom Goddess Viktoria Sway of NYC!
People embracing their truth is hot. We are sexual beings, and celebrating our sexuality is a powerful experience, but many of us struggle with factors that repress that expression. We yearn to be free but are reluctant to embrace it for fear of condemnation or rejection. In intimate relationships, this is even more true. Theoretically, we want our partner to be our biggest fan; exposing vulnerable aspects around a historically taboo subject such as sex is a risk.
Slut Training is hot because some submissives find great pleasure in “performing” for their Dominant and exploring desires that were previously locked away in the deepest corners of their minds. Ironically, submission releases freedom from fears and anxieties in a unique and stimulating experience. On the flip side, a Dominant can enjoy evoking a level of submission from their kinky play partner that deepens the connection via shared experience.
The Oxford English Dictionary’s first definition of slut is “a woman of dirty, slovenly, or untidy habits or appearance; a foul slattern” and was first found as a literary reference in Canterbury Tales.
Fun fact! The earliest usage of the word can be found in 1402, earlier than fuck or cunt!
Early uses of the word were somewhat interchangeable between men and women. The focus of the word was insult based on unkept appearance, dirtiness, and general low-class presentation.
Over the years, the word went in several different directions, including a cloth dipped in wax that substitutes for a candle, a female dog, a poor housekeeper, and the continued use of a dirty, unkempt person of either gender.
Historians remind us that assessing use in literature may differ from the time’s parlance. However, the reference to a woman of loose morality is widely accepted to have begun in the 20th century. It is even blatantly described as “a woman with the morals of a man.”
Some sociologists note the rise of the usage of slut increase in the 20th century, but what’s the reason? Research identifies the timing to coincide with two significant factors. 1. women’s suffrage and 2. World War II, where women stepped up in the absence of men to take on traditionally male jobs and roles in society, going out independently, drinking, and generally engaging in a more independent lifestyle than their gender had previously assigned.
Both of these occurrences have been hypothesized to have created insecurity and anxiety within the patriarchy, and the insults are representative of the backlash against liberation. Interestingly, another spike in the usage of the word occurred in the 1980s, post Roe v Wade and the advent of women’s reproductive rights, another blow to the patriarchy.
The accepted definition reflects the intended insult. It has stopped an innumerable number of women from reporting sexual assault as well as repressing the very existence of feminine sexual desires. Let’s look at the judgment behind it, a holdover from the puritanical denial and judgment over a woman’s sexuality.
“The problem with the word slut is that it has cut women off because they have an energy around their sexual desires, and we are still so prejudiced about this,” says Psychoanalyst and social critic Susie Orbach. For decades, Feminism has debated the normalization of the word, or reclaiming the word slut, versus condemnation of its uses as sexist.
Despite all our social advances, we are still not free of the ignorance fueling the debate. “The main message is: It’s not okay to enjoy sex or be sexual if you’re female or feminine” In fact, some lawmakers still remain confused, believing pregnancy is only possible with a female orgasm, which conveniently becomes rape denial!
OK, enough of the nerdy stuff right? Well, it’s essential to understand why the word is so charged to understand the kink. Slut Training is the ultimate freedom from shame and humiliation. The Dominant party assumes the control and direction of the submissive to engage in acts they desire while removing the stigma.
The control of the D/s relationship absolves the submissive party of the guilt of engaging in acts they may find shameful, acts that have been depicted as dirty or embarrassing in the submissive’s life experience. Not only does it absolve the guilt and responsibility for engaging in those acts, Slut Training provides acceptance by a strong and authoritarian figure and protection from judgment or ridicule of anyone else.
According to the World Health Organization, “Gender refers to the characteristics of women, men, girls, and boys that are socially constructed. This definition includes norms, behaviors, and roles associated with being a woman, man, girl, or boy, as well as relationships with each other. As a social construct, Gender varies from society to society and can change over time.”
Rigid gender norms negatively affect people with diverse gender identities but also inhibit CIS gender expressions of diversity.
Slut Training is an activity which is not contingent on gender. Regardless of gender, most Western societies have a puritanical viewpoint on sexuality, the influence of which begins in childhood. At its core, slut shaming is liberation from those restrictions and judgments; men, women, and gender-fluid individuals can all experience that profound freedom from that rigidity.
The Dominant assumes the role of instructor, teacher, disciplinarian, and nurturer within the dynamic. The Dominant uses explicit language, terms that many people in everyday life would find offensive or even derogatory. A Dominatrix creates a space where the submissive can explore and play by expanding what is acceptable and even encouraged in a safe and nurturing environment. A submissive knows that in choosing to submit in this context, there is liberation from self-doubt or shame.
Regardless of technique, the Dominant party assumes control and authority within the play, allowing a unique type of relaxation and ultimate enjoyment while exploring fantasies and desires of the Slut Training kink.
